A Few Words after Final

My final exam was a total crisis. I’ll have to admit.

This is the worst score I ever had, 34 out of 42. That’s three 5s, two 6s and one 7. What a fuck. So, as a reflection of the terrible semester, and more importantly a reminder to myself, I feel compelled to write down the entry in my blog to make sure such calamity never happens again.


I got ups and downs in my whole semester. In every single subject, there’s at least one or two exam that I did extremley poor on. Ironicly, I could usually ‘get back’ after these lows and reach a mindset of standing on the top of the world. So the foremost issue is to adjust my status, both mentally and physically to be better prepared for any comin’ exams and receive consistent scores (still make sure that they are good ones).


A lot of the issues I think lie in the core idea that I know instead of apprehend, which date back to my junior high school years but still exist today. Countless times I think I know something because they ring a bell, but I never truly understand it. There seems to be much difference between the two verbs, which from my point of view could hide the secrets from 6 to 7.


Honestly speaking, I from time to time didn’t pay enough attention to the classes themselves. I considered myself too smart, mastering all the techniques and knowledge to ace IB, and others too stupid, doing redundant work and studying trying to get a lucid comprehension over the topics. While the brutal truth did teach me a lesson by by punching me in the face and carving that embarrassing mark on my transcript. That I shall never forget, I bet.


The problem also arose from my came-out-of-nowhere arrogance. I refused to talk to teachers, to ask a question, or to request for suggestions and feedbacks. This turned out to be a unwise choice. It was until the recent conversation until I realized my misapprehension of various basic definitions in my so-called easy subject. I really need to talk, and it will without a doubt do me good.

Tho, putting a little faith in myself will be sure as hell necessary to improve. Probably I’m the only one I can pray to.